


With you, I am enough.

by gonexspace



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Comfort, Established Relationship, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, M/M, Road to Kingdom, Romance, Roommates, Secret Relationship, Stress Relief, Sunkyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24683068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonexspace/pseuds/gonexspace
Summary: Throughout the preparations for Road to Kingdom, Changmin and Sunwoo face many hurdles in their performances, each with their own pressures, fears and worries. It is so easy to crumble under pressure, especially when the stakes are high and they really want to do well. For their members, for their fans and for themselves.Thankfully, they have each other as a source of comfort and reassurance. And Changmin decides that once this is all over, he will spend some time properly with his boyfriend.-A SunKyu version of their Road to Kingdom journey.
Relationships: Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Sunwoo, the boyz - Relationship
Comments: 17
Kudos: 139





	1. Sword of Victory

**Author's Note:**

> Stream Shangri-La (Quasi Una Fantasia) and Checkmate! The Boyz World Domination.

Road to Kingdom.

The programme’s name filled Changmin with a sense of excitement, a feeling of swet thrill and anticipation at what was to come. As a member of The Boyz, he had always been filled with immense gratitude and joy with being on every stage, but to be able to show something _special_ \- it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

But that didn’t mean that when he learned he had to execute a huge jump in their first performance - the 90 Second Mission Stage - to leave a good first impression on all their fellow competitors and viewers, he wasn’t anxious at all. In fact, his members had all yelled in exhilaration after seeing the video of the dancers mock-executing it and turned to him with excitement written all over their faces. As the team’s main dancer and “dance teacher”, Changmin could only plaster on a tight-lipped smile in response. It wasn’t that he was not awed by the performance their choreographers had prepared for them, but it was thoroughly overwhelmed by the sudden crushing burden on his shoulders. The entire “omph” factor of their stage rested on his ability to pull of that stunt. And he really, really wanted to just run away from it all.

His members spent the next few hours recording their performance cover whilst Changmin threw himself into memorising and analysing the entire stage with their choreographer. He had already done his parts beforehand and now it was his responsibility to help out with their teacher to master the moves. Especially with his huge part at the front. Throwing himself into perfecting his other moves was the only way to keep his mind off the huge obstacle before him.

“Hyung,” a mellow voice called from behind him. Changmin had been practicing the entire choreography alone before their first practice session with the members and Sunwoo walked into the otherwise empty practice room. The younger must have finished his recording first, or decided to come early. “They said you recorded before all of us. What have you been doing?”

Changmin offered his wine-haired dongsaeng a small smile. It was always a comfort to see Sunwoo - they had become lovers well before their debut and even till now, he couldn’t believe he had this amazing, perfect human being all to himself. A wonder, really, how their awkward confessions had blossomed into a steady relationship over the years, carefully hidden away from the cameras that continuously recorded every moment in their lives as idols. 

“I’ve been learning Sword of Victory from Baek Seongsaeng before practice later.” Changmin answered, his lips tugging into a larger smile as the younger threw an arm around his shoulders, easily pulling him closer. Sunwoo had been working out recently and easily shrouded his smaller frame - he secretly loved it, of course, but he would never admit it. “How was recording?”

“The usual,” Sunwoo shrugged, before tugging on Changmin’s shoulders to get them to face each other. Dark brown eyes stared into his eyes, searching. Changmin could see the softness, the adoration and the worry in them. 

“Hyung, are you worried?” His lover asked quietly, their gazes never leaving each other’s. 

There was a sudden overwhelming wave of _emotion_ that rose in his chest. He had been so stressed ever since they had first got to see their choreography and Sunwoo’s _care_ for him just seemed to break everything that he had been trying to hold back. 

Wordlessly, Changmin reached forward and pulled Sunwoo into a hug, in the middle of the empty practice room. He willed himself not to cry as he buried his cheeks into the broad chest of his lover. Road to Kingdom had just started - he could not be breaking apart like this. They had been given this rare opportunity and he needed to do it properly. Sunwoo gently pressed his lips to Changmin’s forehead, seemingly guessing his thoughts.

They stayed wrapped around each other like that for a few moments, until the shaking in his shoulder’s eased as Sunwoo’s hand rubbed his back reassuringly. Changmin sucked in a deep breath, suddenly hyper aware of the sweat that he was covered in, against the woody musk of Sunwoo’s cologne. He somewhat reluctantly peeled himself away, allowing his brown hair to fall over his eyes.

“I will be alright,” Changmin murmured, meeting Sunwoo’s eyes with his usual grin. The younger was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, clearly doubting him. His grin only grew wider at the expression. Sometimes, Sunwoo was so _adorable_ and he himself didn’t even know it. “I have to be.”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

“Okay, let’s try the jump now! Q, are you ready?” Changmin swallowed, steeling himself as he gave Baek Seonsaeng what he hoped seemed to be a firm nod. Juyeon and Hyunjae hyung were going to help throw him upwards, while Jacob hyung would help him with the forward momentum to help him land in the front of the stage. He had practiced jumping with them, but now Younghoon hyung was seated in front of him. If he didn’t jump far enough or high enough...he could cause some serious injuries. The other members were watching him from the sides, their gazes all rather expectant and worried. 

Changmin stared at himself in the practice room mirror, supported by his three members. The dark wine red flash of hair caught his attention and he found himself meeting the dark brown eyes of Sunwoo as the beginning tunes of _Sword of Victory_ echoed around them. There was something unsaid that passed between them as their eyes met. Sunwoo gave him a firm nod and he sucked in a deep breath as he leapt.

There was a tense moment as he flew in the air, his breath catching in his chest as he kept his knees tucked to his chest. But there wasn’t enough momentum upwards - his foot caught slightly on Younghoon hyung’s right shoulder, sending the latter sprawling forward and himself hitting the floor in an unelegant manner. 

The world whirred around him as he rolled to break the impact - thankfully with nothing broken - before he ended up spread out on the practice room floor, heavily winded but otherwise uninjured from the fall. 

“Changmin!”

“Q hyung!”

There was a chorus of voices from his members as he struggled to sit up. The sound of panicked footsteps quickly surrounded him, followed by a very anxious and wide-eyed Kim Sunwoo. 

“Hyung, are you alright?” he asked hurriedly, pulling Changmin up. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Changmin winced, rolling the slight ache left behind in his shoulder that suffered the brunt of his fall. “Younghoon hyung?”

“I’m fine!” The elder answered with a wave. Changmin left out a sigh of relief. Even if he hadn’t made it all the way, at least no one was hurt...he had to do better.

“Let’s try again.” Changmin got up quickly, ignoring the slight protests of the members around him. “We have to get this right.”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The entire time they had been waiting at the sides in the audience for their turn, Changmin - or Q, as he now was in his working environment - was simply praying that he would pull that jump off later and catch the sword well. As long as that worked out, he would be much more relaxed for the rest of the performance. Once he nailed that part down, all would be fine. 

Alas, their names were called and Changmin was on his feet in a flash, quickly stretching out the inactivity from all the sitting and waiting during their filming. This was it - he needed to do well for their team to shine. To do their Deobis proud. 

They quickly fell into formation as they headed up the stage. His hand was given a warm squeeze as Sunwoo brushed past him in a rather nonchalant manner and Changmin bit back a smile at the gesture. Even if there were cameras rolling all around them, it was exactly what he needed. He sucked in a breath as they huddled close, Juyeon and Hyunjae hyung whispering soft words of encouragement beside him as the first beats of the music began. _You can do it, Changmin ah. You have to._

There was a tense moment as he was in the air. Time seemed to slow down for him, his hand reaching out to grab the sword that Younghoon hyung had thrown perfectly up into the air for him, grip tightening around the hilt. The moment ended when he landed squarely on the ground, the awed cheers of the other teams echoing before and behind him as he automatically reacted to the next sequence of movements for their choreography. There was a sense of satisfaction that filled him and Changmin couldn’t help the smile that threatened to overwhelm his face during the stage, although he very quickly bit that down. 

_He did it._

“Hyung, you did it!” Sunwoo cried once he’d ripped the microphone off his head, his cheer echoed by his members around him. The younger had faced trouble during his performance, his sword getting stuck for the final pose but here he was congratulating Changmin instead. Changmin let out a relieved laugh, snaking an arm around his lover’s waist as they gathered for a group hug. He really wanted to celebrate this properly, especially after all the help Sunwoo had given him, but the cameras were rolling. They didn’t really need to hide anything since both of them preferred to keep their moments private anyway, but it was a shame their fans often liked to look too much into every single one of their actions and moments together. 

Changmin would really like a warm hug right now and Sunwoo looked like he needed one too.

They took the opportunity when they were announced as first place, the subtle skinship easily categorized as a casual thing - in a moment of celebration. And even though their stage had much room for improvement still, he was glad their efforts had paid off.

Their celebration as a group was a short but sweet one, a meal of barbecued meat before they headed back to their dorms to get a good night’s rest before they delved into their next Road to Kingdom performance. 

And Changmin took the opportunity to give Sunwoo all the attention he wanted to give during their shooting in the privacy of their room, with Kevin wrapped up in his own corner on the top bunk with his headphones and his art - almost a routine for him, to have to room with a couple for so long. 

Hidden underneath Sunwoo’s blankets on the bottom bunk (away from all of Changmin’s array of dolls and plushies), they comforted each other about their mistakes from their stage. Changmin finally managed to steal an agonisingly slow kiss from the red-haired boy, their lips connecting gently at first, then searching for each other more desperately. They were long past the sparks and fireworks of their relationship and the kiss meant something more like an affirmation of their love for each other. They had worked hard and these short moments of intimacy were almost like a reward. They couldn’t go any further - they had practice and needed to be in their top forms, but for now, Sunwoo’s warmth pressed against his side was just enough. Changmin closed his eyes, his arms wrapped around his lover’s waist as a hand lazily cupped the back of his neck to press their foreheads together. 

Tomorrow, he would worry about their next stage. For now, he was content.


	2. Danger

If Changmin had known everything they were suggesting on camera to Baek Seonsaeng would be incorporated into their Danger performance, he would’ve kept his mouth shut.

But now, faced with a very intimidating solo dance sequence for himself followed by a seemingly impossible stunt by Sunwoo, Changmin really wanted to jump into a hole and hide himself away. The entire dance sequence was filled with tiny details that were essential to creating a charismatic performance and Changmin desperately wanted to do well. Their team had placed first and even if the score was not counted in the final, their audience and beloved Deobis would definitely be expecting something even more impressive from The Boyz. And Changmin didn’t want to disappoint.

It felt like each passing day dragged by awfully slowly, filled by their filming schedules in the late afternoons and near constant practice from midnight till daybreak. Wake up, film, practice and repeat. It was exhausting, but the thought of producing content and doing well for their fans always made Changmin want to work even harder. He could see the same thoughts mirrored on his members’ faces, even when the toll of their job nature were evident. 

Changmin was on break in his recording room at the company before their practice started, when a notification from Vlive popped up. Their two maknaes were live and interestingly, wearing each other’s school uniform. He had heard about the mad scramble to find a Hanlim school uniform for Eric - Sunwoo probably managed to get Haknyeon to find a spare set, or asked for a favour from one of his classmates. Changmin had always liked the Hanlim uniform and he secretly thought Sunwoo always looked extra handsome in it, but Eric would probably throw a fit about school pride if he said that. The two maknaes were joking around as usual, impersonating each other and as usual, his boyfriend was doing an excellent job at mimicking Eric’s small actions. His keen eye often benefited him this way. 

“Cute,” Changmin mused aloud, watching the two banter with each other. Just yesterday, they had tried out Sunwoo’s ‘staircase’ stunt for the first time and thankfully, no one was hurt in the process. He knew the younger boy was scared of heights and moreso, of hurting the other members beneath him. There had been a few close calls where Sunwoo or the other members missed their timing a little, leaving everyone in a haphazard heap at the end, but with more practice, it went along rather well. The first time Sunwoo succeeded, the entire practice room had burst into cheers, himself included. It was exhilarating, just like when he first pulled off the jump in Sword of Victory. Baek Seonsaeng had created the entire performance for their team and despite the daunting first impression, it seemed like if The Boyz could pull this off as well, they could achieve anything in the future. And despite the quaking in his pupils, Sunwoo’s lips pulled into a slight smile as Changmin leapt into his arms, the rest of their teams very quickly turning it into a huge group hug. If they managed to pull of this performance during the recording, they would already have achieved something together as a team, regardless of the result.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

“It’ll look much better on stage if we use a higher table,” Baek Seongsaeng declared, giving the white table a firm smack as if to accentuate his point. The atmosphere was tense, all 11 of them gathered around the table to reassess their performance. Changmin swallowed. Of course, he agreed. But that also meant they had to jump higher to get on the table and drop down from greater heights as compared to the smaller brown one. And Sunwoo, with his fear of heights...Changmin eyed him from across the table. The redhead was staring at the table, gnawing slightly on his lip. No doubt there was a nervousness to his demeanour, but sensing someone looking at him, Sunwoo looked up. Their gazes met briefly and Changmin’s heart stuttered slightly. His partner’s eyes were filled with a steely determination that never failed to steal his breath away. Even if Sunwoo was deathly afraid, Changmin knew he would suck it up and overcome it for the performance. He was so, so brave and that made Changmin fall just a little more for this man.

Of course, Sunwoo had to ruin his little moment with his usual snarky grin. With a hand snaking up to run through his dark red hair, he winked at Changmin.

“Ah, that means Changmin hyung has to jump higher to get onto the table. Won’t he have a bit more difficulty doing that?” the younger teased, his lips curling up into a small smirk. Changmin let out an annoyed huff, rolling his eyes. He was long used to this sort of remark, especially from Kim Sunwoo. He knew what he was getting into, after all, deciding to be with this awfully sweet but simultaneously infuriatingly mischievous man. Plus, he was well aware Sunwoo was simply taking attention away from their concerns for him by changing the topic. And Changmin decided to play along with him.

“Oh, really?” Changmin raised an eyebrow, his eyes narrowing playfully as he stalked towards his boyfriend. There were guffaws of laughter around them from the other members, who were already used to the two of them fighting like cat and dog. Seemingly sensing his impending doom, Sunwoo quickly backed away, hands outstretched in front of him in surrender. Changmin smirked slightly. “Why do you think it’ll be difficult, huh? Are you saying I’m short, Kim Sunwoo?”

“Ah, hyung I didn’t mean it that way! You just interpreted it like that!” Sunwoo said, spreading his palms in a helpless manner as Changmin neared him, a small grin spreading across his sharp features.

“Anyway, I’m sorry-” he yelped, his words morphing into a shout as Changmin tackled him, pulling him to the ground. Changmin allowed himself a few half-hearted punches to Sunwoo’s chest in mock-anger before Baek Seongsaeng called for them to focus once more. Regardless, their stunt had worked and the atmosphere was a lot lighter than before. 

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Changmin murmured. Sunwoo gave him a sheepish grin in return, his hands coming up to rest on the elder’s waist. There was a slight pause before the wine-headed boy parted his lips, tugging slightly on Changmin’s white shirt to murmur into his ear.

“If I knew we would end up in such a position, how could I not?” 

Changmin yelped, a flush colouring his cheeks. He swatted Sunwoo’s chest even as perpetrator wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. He hadn’t realised he had been perched on top of the younger in such a manner. Trust Sunwoo to say the most inappropriate things in the most serious situations. 

“There are cameras everywhere, Kim Sunwoo.” Changmin scolded lightly as he scrambled off the warm body beneath him, offering a hand to pull the other back onto his feet. As much as they said they wanted to show their true selves in their Generation Z videos, he wasn’t sure he was ready to make this source of comfort and companionship public just yet. “Save these things for more private spaces.”

Sunwoo shot him a blindingly bright smile, before they quickly returned to their meeting with Baek Seonsaeng, who very quickly outlined the changes they were going to make with the new table in place. 

As their practice proceeded, the solemn atmosphere very quickly returned. Although they were all excited to perform Danger for the competition, the difficulty was undeniable. Even the usually bubbly maknae Eric couldn’t hide his worry as Sunwoo stepped onto the white table to try his drop for the first time. 

Sunwoo was afraid and Changmin could see that very quickly on his face, which had turned rather pale. With the cameras obviously filming them, the younger had his expression arranged into a carefully blank one. Whether it was on purpose or purely to distract himself from his fear, Changmin couldn’t tell. But he chose to step out of frame as Baek Seonsaeng gave Sunwoo the queue to begin, Danger blasting from the stereo behind them. 

There was a gnawing anxiety in his chest. Changmin trusted that Kevin and Eric would catch Sunwoo and would never forgive themselves if they made a mistake in this part, but he still worried. Everyone in the room held their breaths as the redhead tipped himself back on cue with the music, landing with a resounding smack into the anticipating duo’s arms. The impact performance-wise was definitely a level above what they had been practicing on the shorter wooden table, but it was also breathtaking for the audience. Changmin finally released the breath he didn't even realise he had been holding as Sunwoo got back onto his feet, turning around to hug the two who’d caught him. 

Changmin couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at Kevin’s expression. If it had already been this anxiety-ridden for himself as an observer, he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to be the one catching his boyfriend from such a height. He was rather thankful for that, actually. The members would definitely do their parts well. It was much less of a burden on himself, knowing that he didn’t need to worry about that part. 

Being in a team was a beautiful thing and Changmin suddenly felt very blessed that he was in The Boyz with 10 other amazing individuals who he could call family.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The day of the recording came much faster than they all expected. The weeks flew by and suddenly, they were already in their costumes, preparing for their final rehearsal on the Road to Kingdom stage. 

Changmin had been so nervous the night before, he had barely managed a fitful sleep after their practice ended in the early morning and they were woken up to prepare for their recording. Judging from the members’ faces, many seemed to share the same fate as he did. But there was also an undeniable excitement - after such a long preparation, they were able to share this performance with the other teams and in time to come, their fans. Changmin really, really hoped they would do well.

Finally facing the polished black surfaces of the stage and suited in their classy costumes for the performance, Changmin sucked in a deep breath to calm himself. It was just a rehearsal, not the real thing. If he lost his calm due to nervousness now, he would waste this opportunity to monitor the changes he needed to make before the actual recording. Plus, his role may be significant but it seemed to pale in comparison to the burden resting on Sunwoo’s shoulders.

Sunwoo was practicing his stunt with Kevin, Eric, Jacob hyung and Haknyeon. Despite their best efforts, it just didn’t seem to be working out - he either ended up crashing into Jacob hyung or Haknyeon. Changmin could see the younger was getting increasingly worried, his eyebrows furrowed into a permanent frown as he picked himself up from yet another failed attempt. 

The result was not satisfactory for the rehearsal either, Sunwoo barely making it past Haknyeon to land rather awkwardly on his back rather than his feet. Changmin was rather worried for his own performance too. All the frustration and anxiety of the other members had gotten to him. He too made a few mistakes in his solo part and the dance break. However, with Sunwoo on a near mental breakdown with his inability to pull of that stunt, Changmin couldn’t possibly mull over his own concerns out loud. He was supposed to be the ever stable and reliable main dancer, the rock of all their performances. If he showed he was not doing well, it would simply increase the pressure on his members and especially so for his boyfriend. And Changmin couldn’t bear to do that, not after he had witnessed how much painstaking effort Sunwoo and the rest of his members had put into this performance.

“Kim Sunwoo,” he called after they monitored their rehearsal, pulling the younger aside to a corner away from the cameras and any prying eyes. The redhead was skittish, his hands wringing themselves together repeatedly before his body. “Baby, look at me.”

A gentle thumb reached and tugged on the younger’s chin, forcing him to meet Changmin’s gaze. There were many conflicting emotions swimming in those dark eyes, fear and worry being the most apparent in his quaking pupils. Changmin pouted slightly at the heartwrenching sight, his arms quickly snaking around the other to pull him into a tight hug.

“You can do it, Sunwoo-ah.” He murmured firmly into his ear. “Don’t think too much about it. You’ve already practiced it so much, your body will definitely react well later on.” 

“Ah, hyung…” Sunwoo sighed, pressing his face into the dark linen of Changmin’s jacket. The arms circled around his waist tightened ever so slightly. “Now I understand how you felt during our 90 Second Performance…”

Changmin let out a loose laugh, gently tussling Sunwoo’s wine-coloured hair, but making sure not to mess it up too much. “As someone who has experienced it, the less you think about it, the better.”

After a furtive glance to make sure no one was watching, he pressed a quick kiss to Sunwoo’s temple in reassurance, before they parted once more to head back to their waiting room. From there on, they would be back on camera as teammates and as idols. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It seemed to take forever, waiting through every group’s performance until it finally reached their turn. With every passing moment, Changmin felt a rising sense of pressure. All the groups had put on amazing performances, especially Pentagon sunbaenim, who had gone right before them. If anything, he desperately wanted them to do well and maintain their first placing but at the same time, he would also be satisfied if they simply pulled of their Danger performance well without any mistakes or any of them getting hurt. They had practiced so much, jumped around, rolled on the ground, stepped on each other and gotten stepped on - pulling off this stage and showing another side of their team would already be an achievement. Getting first would be the cherry on top of the icing.

“Guys,” he called as they were finally called out of their waiting rooms. They huddled together in their usual circle, ready to do their cheer to pump themselves up before the performance. Changmin met each members’ gaze one by one, each returning with a look of steely determination on their own. “Let’s enjoy this stage as much as we can. Just as we practiced, we will do well.”

“The Boyz, get it?”

“Got it!”

With the resounding cries of his members ringing in his ears, Changmin stepped out of the waiting room, slowly immersing himself fully into the character of the performance. When they had taken a group picture with their cards and their ‘powers’ earlier, Hyunjae hyung had suggested they make use of it to really _believe_ that they were thieves and with their unique abilities, were going to rock the stage to steal the crown. 

They put on their microphones with a practiced ease, each doing their own stretches to shake the inactivity out of their limbs before their stage. Changmin sucked in a deep breath as he stepped onto the stage before the rest of the members. His dress shoes clicked against the polished dark flooring as he walked leisurely towards the crown at the end of the stage. 

This was the crown they were going to steal. He had to do well for his solo part at the start, or the character and focus of his members would likely break. If Changmin, as the main dancer, didn’t do well, wouldn’t his team be so much more nervous? Especially Sunwoo, who had a very heavy obstacle before him to overcome.

“Come on, Ji Changmin.” he murmured, reaching out a hand to stroke the glass case of the crown. “Focus.”

He closed his eyes briefly and when he turned around to return to his position behind the props, Changmin let himself slip back into his confident stage persona, all worries forcibly pushed to the back of his mind. 

They had a crown to steal.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The performance flew by in a whirlwind. One controlled move after the next, a series of jumps, slides and spins. Everything was pure muscle memory for Changmin and beyond that, all his attention was focused on executing every detail well. He didn’t even have time to wonder if Sunwoo had landed his jump safely before he was moving onto Juyeon’s part in the song. But with adrenaline pumping deep in his veins, he managed to pull of his final jump onto the table well and concluded the performance rather nicely.

There was a moment of silence after the lights went dark, the camera poised at the empty glass case for the ending. Then, the tension was broken as Eric let out an excited cheer, answering the members’ unspoken question.

“KIM SUNWOO!” The pure, unadulterated glee in their maknae’s voice seemed to do something to Changmin and all the previous worry seemed to gush out of him like a deflated balloon. Did Sunwoo do it? Had they gotten through the performance as well as it seemed? 

Judging from the excitement from his members, it seemed to be the case. Eric and Sangyeon hyung had bright smiles on their faces as they leapt at Sunwoo. The members had all been especially worried for the stunt and to know it was done well...Changmin didn’t bother hiding his own grin as he hopped off the stage to join in on their group hug. He would congratulate Sunwoo in his own way afterward, to make up for his birthday as well. For now, they would relish in their achievement as a team, regardless of the result.

Of course, Changmin thought that riding the glee from completing such a challenging performance as a team, but now seated with the rest of the teams and awaiting their overall results for the 1st round, he inwardly hoped they could get the top position again. They had spent so much sweat and tears over this performance, with some of them even getting injured along the way but still having to hide it and press on for the sake of their stage. It would be acknowledging their efforts and Changmin would very much appreciate that. 

There were definitely moments during their Danger performance that he felt he didn’t do well enough in - the choreography was filled with countless tiny details and despite trying his best to get them all right during the stage, he couldn’t help but feel that he was not at his best condition. No major mistakes were made, but it was often the small things that made the biggest difference. Especially when they were competing against so many other brilliant performances by the other groups. 

The position announcement was more nerve wracking than the previous one for their 90 Second Performance. With every group’s name announced from the 4th position onward, it became more and more of “If we’re not first, then we’ve fallen so much in the ranks.” Changmin would have much rather preferred to be 2nd or 3rd than face with the reality of being in the last few ranks despite the amount of hard work they’ve put in for this risky performance. He didn’t know how he would react if they weren’t first.

When ‘The Boyz’ finally showed up on the screen before them, Changmin nearly felt he could shed tears of relief. But he determinedly blinked them away before they made their appearance, only letting out a small “Ah, hyung-” before Hyunjae hyung wrapped him into a big hug, the elder’s own expression one filled with joy and relief. 

He could see the members around him breaking into tears around him and tried to hold back his own as the microphone was passed to Hyunjae hyung for him to express their feelings. He didn’t cry on camera very often, but this was one of those moments where he came close to it. Choosing to distract himself before his emotions got to him, Changmin glanced at Eric’s trembling frame in front of him with a rather amused expression. Eric and Kevin behind him...he glanced behind Hyunjae hyung and found his boyfriend in tears as well, although he was hiding them from the camera. 

Sunwoo had done it. They had secured their first position once more and delivered a stage that had gone beyond any of their expectations. 

When the recording finally concluded, Changmin kept silent, simply watching his members celebrate with a fond smile. He had worried so much for this performance and before that, the sword catch in their Hwarang stage too. But now, he was looking forward to their next stage - to see what else they can achieve as a team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually think sunkyu have a really cute dynamic (don’t worry, I’m not delusional) (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)


	3. Reveal (Catching Fire)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in celebration of #TheBoyz3rdWin and #TheStealer2ndWin !!

“Since we are continuing the story from Danger, Changmin you will be starting off the entire performance again with a short solo.” Baek Seonsaeng quipped right from the beginning of their first choreography lesson, describing his plans for the entire Reveal stage to the members. Changmin nodded, avoiding eye contact with everyone, save their dance teacher. 

Of course, he expected something like this, given he was one of the more stable dancers in their team. But following Danger and that 90 Second Performance stunt, Changmin was once again overwhelmed by a sudden burden on his shoulders. Having to pull off these parts right from the beginning not only meant he was setting the storyline, but also determining the mood for their stages. If he made a mistake somehow, it would definitely ruin their focus for the rest of the performance. He  _ had _ to do it well.

Even with their own song Reveal for the second round, Changmin felt like this was their Danger performance all over again. Baek Seonsaeng had created a practically brand new choreography, recycling only a few moves from Sunwoo and Kevin’s parts in the breakdown. Everything was unfamiliar and the hard-hitting nature of the build-up further added to the difficulty of the performance. 

As the dance practice progressed, Changmin couldn’t help but feel distracted by all the stress he was facing. It wasn’t often that he would succumb to his own thoughts, especially during practice, but the entire Road to Kingdom filming had seemed to take its toll on his mind more than his body.

“Hey, Changmin.” Baek Seonsaeng called, reaching over to turn the speakers off. “Are you alright?”

With a jolt, Changmin realised that he had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts and missed the entry cue for the dance break. He hadn’t even reacted to his mistake at all. Usually, he was the kind to laugh sheepishly and request a re-do or just attempt to continue from wherever he could, but his mental state was too off hinged to react in time.

“Ah, sorry…” Changmin managed after a moment’s silence to gather his wits about himself. He could already feel the curious stares of the other members prickling his skin. No doubt he would get questioned by Sangyeon hyung or Jacob hyung. He would most definitely have to deal with a concerned Sunwoo on his tail too, although that was literally the last thing he wanted - to make all of them worry unnecessarily. “Not sure what got into me earlier. Let’s continue?”

“Ah Ssaem, can we take a quick break?” Sunwoo called, waving his arms around carelessly. Changmin bit his lip. He hadn’t intended to disrupt their practice session in such a manner. He missed the pointed look the younger shot Sangyeon hyung, but he could tell Sunwoo was just creating a situation for him to get interrogated. Which was not a good sign, given Changmin felt that he was 2 seconds away from screaming at everyone, out of frustration at himself. “My legs feel like they’re going to drop off if we do that killer sequence one more time.”

Changmin squeezed his eyes shut as Baek Seonsaeng voiced his agreement. It wasn’t unusual for them to take short 10-15 minute breaks during their long practice sessions, but he disliked being the cause of it. Especially not when he needed to practice more, to do well. 

“Changmin ah,” A soft voice called as a few pairs of footsteps approached him. He didn’t even need to open his eyes to tell who it was. Jacob hyung was always particularly concerned about him, despite Changmin’s protests otherwise. It always made him feel rather guilty, but it was simply his nature to keep his concerns to himself. “Do you want to take a rest for today’s practice?”

Changmin blinked his eyes open wearily, the studio lights suddenly blinding him. He could make out Jacob hyung staring at him with a worried crease on his forehead. The world around him tipped slightly and Sunwoo was beside him instantly, a smooth palm pressed gently against his forehead. Changmin forcibly shook himself, flashing the two members beside him a nonchalant smile.

“Don’t worry too much, hyung.” he chirped, his voice going an octave higher than usual. Jacob hyung looked rather doubtful of that, given his rather telling dizzy spell just moments ago. “I’m completely fine!”

“Hyung,” Sunwoo began with a deep frown, already ready to start nagging at him. “Are you-”

“Quit it, Kim Sunwoo.” Changmin groaned, deliberately cutting off his boyfriend before he could continue any further. He could already tell what was about to be said and he really was not in the right state of mind to deal with it without a fight. “I already said I’m fine. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

There was a moment of silence as both Sunwoo and Jacob hyung stared at him, then at each other. Changmin stared at the ground uncomfortably. He hated moments like these. But if Sunwoo had continued, he would have lost his cool unreasonably and he would hate to do that. His boyfriend would understand - they fought so often nowadays that Changmin couldn’t even keep count - but he would hate himself more for it.

“Hyung, you would tell us if anything’s wrong, right?” Sunwoo finally asked quietly. This was the mature side of him that he often kept away from the cameras, behind the sassy and playful personality he portrayed. 

Changmin stared at those dark brown orbs, fighting down the wave of emotion that threatened to surface from deep within him. 

Wordlessly, he gave the other a slight nod.

He wouldn’t, not really and definitely not right now. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It was easy to pretend to be bright and use that to deal with all the stress Changmin was under. As the days got nearer to their recording for the second round, their practice schedule began to get more packed, the hours stretching further into the night and later, the early mornings. Even Sunwoo’s birthday, which Changmin usually would have set aside time to celebrate outside of their usual surprise with the other members, was pushed back until they had time much later. It was a shame of course, but seeing how hard everyone was working, they too had agreed to focus on completing their stage well first. 

Changmin never liked to show his weakness in front of anyone else. He was more open with Sunwoo, but even then, he preferred to solve his own problems on his own. It didn't seem like anyone else could help him with his changing his way of thinking beyond himself either way. Instead, he channeled his problems into a source of motivation - to work harder, do better and grow more as a performer and a person in general. 

He was pretty sure his members could tell he was withdrawing more into himself than usual. But it was a form of escapism for himself, a brief respite from the burdens and stress he had to carry constantly whilst preparing for their stages. It was so easy to make a small mistake that could essentially ruin their whole stage and Changmin definitely did not want that to happen, especially when he was responsible for a lot of the storytelling in their performance. The loss of their crown, the fire and the dance break were all vital in building up the tension in their performance. 

Even with Sunwoo, Changmin tried not to worry the younger too much. He had his own worries, especially with his progress in overcoming his fear of heights. Changmin had tried to support him as much as possible in this process and was very proud of his progress. He couldn’t hide everything from his partner - he was pretty sure that given all their time spent together, Sunwoo could practically read him like a book. But he did avoid sharing everything, not when the burden of his own concerns was already weighing him down so heavily. Sunwoo deserved better than to have to deal with both his and Changmin’s problems.

When the performance finally came and went, Changmin felt like his chest was relieved of all the pressure, albeit only slightly. There were many areas he felt he could have done better, but he was simply relieved there were no major mistakes during their entire stage. They had already been worried about Kevin’s knee injury during one of the practices. It called for a fair number of large changes during their last week of practice but thankfully, it seemed to go according to plan.

It would be wrong to say that Changmin expected they would clinch the top position once more, but he wasn’t exactly surprised. The other teams had put up spectacular performances that could have easily taken first place as well, but something in him just  _ knew _ . Or perhaps, he had become rather apathetic towards this second round’s performance. After Pentagon sunbaenim’s performance, Changmin had been rather drained emotionally, compounded by all the stress he had been under the entire preparation phase for this stage. 

He kept on a bright smile for the cameras, but once they had changed out of their costumes and piled into their respective cars, Changmin fell silent. His gaze never left the blurred scenery by the window, seeing but not really comprehending. Their Reveal stage had ended and he was now relieved of the burden of having to do well - they had already achieved it.

But it didn’t seem to explain the nagging feeling of unease tugging at his mind repeatedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little bit of a character study in this filler chapter ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


	4. Quasi una Fantasia

Changmin was exhausted.

Immediately after their Reveal stage, they had jumped straight back into preparing for the next round - their collaboration stage with Oneus and their Shangrila performance. Their performance partners were wonderful of course - Changmin had gotten so close so quickly to all of them, it felt like they were almost one team planning, practicing and performing together. The stage was going to be something meaningful, so he wasn’t particularly worried about it. But given they had to perform 2 stages at once, the preparations for their own team’s stage were slower than usual. Shangri-la was an amazing song with a very distinct colour that Changmin himself had always wanted to try out, but given they needed to change it into their own style whilst keeping some elements of VIXX sunbaenim’s original, even their choreographers were struggling.

To make matters even worse, Changmin could see the weariness and exhaustion gradually seeping into all of their bones, himself included. There were small but frequent injuries popping up amongst them ever since their Sword of Victory performance, the most recent being Kevin’s knee. With Younghoon hyung busy shooting for his drama and Kevin’s injury, the rest of them were working harder to create a complete stage and fill in any gaps in their performance. It really pained Changmin to see all his members working so hard, Younghoon and Kevin pushing to participate actively despite their respective situations. It was because of this exact reason that even on the days where his body felt awfully sluggish and he constantly felt like he was on the brink of having an emotional meltdown, Changmin forced himself to bite back his world-weariness and push through. They all going through this together. And they definitely could win this.

It was still in the early stages of preparation for their performance. Baek Seonsaeng had taught them the choreography for the key parts of the song and in order to save time, their team had begun practicing using the guide version of their rearranged song. 

“Alright, guys. Let’s do that one more time.” Changmin called as the final chords of the music faded. “Right side seems to be lagging behind a little.” 

Their practice room was already heating up substantially, given they were almost 3 hours into their session for the day. But it was something Changmin had already gotten used to - the uncomfortable prickle of his sweat-damp hair sticking to the back of his neck, the gradual ache of his muscles - all just signs of their hard work and efforts in perfecting their performance. 

And so began yet another round of repeating movements, all of them equally focused on matching with one another while keeping their movements fluid and smooth to effectively convey the message of their performance. Changmin kept his eyes trained on the mirror before them, every so often alternating between nitpicking on his own movements whenever he got distracted and watching how they looked as a group. 

A sudden change in his member’s expression caught his eye in the mirror, but it quickly morphed into one of practiced confidence before Changmin could sound it out. He narrowed his eyes at the perpetrator, his own movements halting while the others continued. 

Changmin ignored the surprised glances as he stalked towards the music player, quickly putting a stop to the music. The sudden silence hung thickly in the air, all of the members thrown off by his sudden change in demeanour. 

“Sunwoo,” Changmin called, his arms folded before him. “Stop pretending. What happened?”

Changmin had noticed his boyfriend’s face crumple abruptly, the change much too drastic to be overlooked by any of his attempts to quickly cover up. The last thing Changmin wanted was for any of them to injure themselves badly for the sake of their practice. Especially not when they had such an intensive schedule to keep up with in the coming days. The Sunwoo he knew never liked to sound out his pain during dance practices either, to avoid worrying the rest of them excessively. Changmin knew he always healed fast despite past injuries, but it pained him to see the lively boy suffering in silence.

“Ah, hyung.” Sunwoo sighed in defeat, his false demeanour crumpling almost immediately. “I can never hide anything from you, can I?”

Almost immediately, the younger’s body seemed to fold into itself, much to the alarm of most of the members. Changmin was by his side in an instant, supporting his body towards its descent to the wooden floor of their practice room. 

Sunwoo clutched at his knee as he struggled to sit, his forehead already beaded with sweat from the effort needed. Changmin sighed. This looked bad. It was a good thing that he had spotted it immediately and stopped their practice before Sunwoo went ahead and overexerted himself. 

“What happened?” Changmin asked quietly as the members bustled around behind them, Sangyeon hyung likely already calling for their manager as the reliable leader he was. Sunwoo shook his head wordlessly, gnawing at his lip. He probably was trying his best to endure the pain, Changmin realised with a sigh. It pulled at his heartstrings, how Sunwoo always tried his best to be strong not just for their team, but for the fans as well. 

“Can you give me a number, out of 10?” 

8 fingers. 

Changmin winced, his heart aching even more for his lover. 

“8 out of 10 and you still tried to continue?” He couldn’t help but chide, even as Juyeon and Jacob hyung came forward with some ice for Sunwoo’s knee. The cheeky bastard simply pulled out a pained grin, his pearly whites flashing for Changmin to see despite the potential gravity of the situation. They watched as Juyeon gingerly peeled back Sunwoo’s pants till past his right knee, which had swollen to the size of a grapefruit. 

Changmin sighed.

“Alright, let’s ice it for now until manager-hyung comes and we can get Sunwoo to the hospital.”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

With Sunwoo finally on his way to the hospital, accompanied by their manager-hyung and company staff, the rest of them went back to practicing.  Or at least, the best they could without getting distracted every so often by each of their concerns for their injured member.

As the minutes ticked by, Changmin got more and more worried. Even as they practiced another round of their performance, his mind was preoccupied with concerns about Sunwoo’s injury - was he going to get better soon? In time for their performance? What if it was too serious, and he hadn’t prevented it from getting worse in time? Should he have gone to the hospital with Sunwoo as well? His gaze strayed to his phone and he wondered if he should send the younger a text or call him to check on him. The unanswered questions were whirring in his head and despite his best attempts to stay focused, everyone could tell that he wasn’t in his right state of mind to practice at all. 

“Hey kids, shall we call it a day?” Baek Seonsaeng called once the final notes of Shangrila faded into silence. There was concern and understanding etched on his face as he took in the 10 frowns looking back at him.

“But Ssaem we won’t have enough time-” Changmin protested. As much as he was clearly not focused on their practice, he knew that any delay would just further complicate any problems they faced later on. 

“The time spent practicing now while all of you are clearly worried about Sunwoo is also wasted time.” Baek Seonsaeng interrupted, a knowing glint in his eyes. Changmin gnawed on his lip, anxiety for both his boyfriend and their performance building. “Besides, I can use this time to readjust and finalise the rest of the choreography with the other teachers to accommodate Sunwoo a bit more.” 

Ah, right. Changmin heaved a sigh, partly out of relief. It was a wonder how Baek Seonsaeng was always so understanding towards them. For that, Changmin was very grateful. But now, he had other things on his mind. 

The boys chorused their heartfelt thanks to Baek Seonsaeng and waved goodbye, before piling into their vehicles to head back to their dorms. Their manager had already informed them that Sunwoo had returned to the dorms earlier and Changmin could barely sit still. They had spent most of the journey back texting Oneus about Sunwoo’s injury. Thankfully, Sunwoo largely played a storytelling role in their performance and the changes needed weren’t major. But that still meant more time spent perfecting imperfections for both their performances. Their stage aside, Changmin just wanted to assess the damage. He knew Sunwoo, being the hard worker he was, would blame himself  _ again _ for getting injured. 

When they finally entered their dorms, it was dark - the only light came from the small peeks of sunlight from behind the curtains. As his eyes adjusted to the change, Changmin managed to make out a figure draped across their couch, their arm haphazardly draped over their eyes. Sunwoo’s knee had been put in a brace - a sign that it was nothing too major, but not a simple strain either. 

“Sunwoo,” he murmured, sliding over to the couch with the other members. A gentle poke to the shoulder and the younger finally sighed, shifting his arm out of the way to peer blearily at his members. Changmin pretended not to notice his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “How is it?”

“Just sprained my ACL…” Sunwoo hummed, his arm returning to its initial location over his face once more. “It’s nothing to worry about, just gotta keep weight off it for the next week or so…”

There was a silence that filled the dorm as everyone slowly digested Sunwoo’s words. The injury was minor, thankfully, but resting for a week would probably mean…

“Argh!” Sunwoo groaned, finally unable to take the silence any longer. “This is so frustrating...first Younghoon hyung got sick, then Jacob and Kevin hyung got hurt…and now I had to go and sprain my fucking knee.”

“It’s not your fault, Sunwoo-ah.” Sangyeon hyung murmured, reaching up to pat Sunwoo’s head gently. “You of all people should know that well - it’s what you keep telling the rest of us when we get hurt.”

There was a half-hearted chuckle from Sunwoo, his lips tugging upwards briefly. 

“You guys should go wash up, please. You stink.” Sunwoo finally groaned, taking the nearest cushion and throwing it at whoever’s voice he heard. Haknyeon unfortunately was the lucky one and took a wall of cotton to the face. If Sunwoo had attempted to lighten the atmosphere, it certainly worked. Changmin rolled his eyes, getting up as well. 

“We’ll talk later, Sunwoo.” Changmin warned without any heat. Knowing Sunwoo, all he needed right now was probably some comfort and Changmin was more than willing to provide it. After he showered, that is. He refused to go anywhere near anyone’s bed with his currently sweat-soaked shirt. He watched the younger’s face crumple slightly, a brief flash of the vulnerable and so incredibly  _ young _ side of Sunwoo, before it was forced into showing an expression of false courage. 

“Hurry and go shower, hyung ~ ” 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Changmin got out of the shower as fast as humanly possible, murmuring a quick yet sincere thanks to Jacob hyung, who being next in line, offered to clean up for him. He had always been one of the fastest in their team, but right now he had something very important to address.

Sunwoo had somehow managed to hobble back to their shared room in the meantime and peeked out from behind the covers of his bed at Changmin’s presence. The elder wrapped a towel around his head, mindful of his still dripping mop of hair as he crawled in beside Sunwoo. They could hear the members making a ruckus outside, but in the moment it was just Sunwoo, Changmin and the rhythmic sounds of their breathing. And as much as the bone-deep exhaustion from their constant preparations settling deep into his bones was reaching its tendrils towards him, he fought against it the best he could. It wasn’t about him right now.

“What are you thinking about?” Changmin murmured as his arms snaked around the younger to pull him closer, his wet hair completely forgotten. This close, he could stare into the depths of Sunwoo’s dark eyes, bright with unshed tears. “You were crying.”

Sunwoo closed his eyes wearily, a stray tear making its way past the confines of his eyelids. Without thinking, Changmin reached up to thumb it away, cooing at the sight. 

“The usual,” he sighed after a moments’ silence, his eyes blinking open to peer at Changmin shyly. “Dragging the team down, not doing enough…”

Ah. Changmin had often heard these concerns from the younger - many of the members faced this fear too, especially with the demand and performing rigour from Road To Kingdom. Deep inside, Changmin himself had his own demons whispering similar things to him constantly, about the need to do better, try more stunts and work harder as the team’s ‘Main Dancer’. But he couldn’t be seen as the one to crumble in the face of these doubts, not when he was the one who was supposed to be the backbone of their performances. So he kept his own thoughts to himself so as to not burden his team and tried to support them as much as possible.

“And what do I always tell you?” Changmin replied softly, bringing himself eye to eye with his injured lover. “That you work so hard and do more than enough all the time - all of us do - and you're literally the seasoning in our team, adding flavour to all our performances.”

“Yeah, I suppose I can be as salty as MSG sometimes,” Sunwoo joked, earning a laugh from both of them. 

“But yes, I know…” he sighed, his dark red hair falling back over his eyes.

They settled into yet another comfortable silence before Sunwoo nudged the elder slightly.

“Hyung...can we stay like this for a while?” he whispered, his cheeks coloured slightly. Changmin resisted the urge to pinch them or drown Sunwoo in kisses there and then.  _ How is he so cute _ , he thought, pressing his lips to Sunwoo’s forehead gently instead.

“You don’t mind the sopping wet hair?”

“...You can deal with it for me later.”

Changmin bit back a laugh, humming in response as Sunwoo leaned into his embrace. “Of course, you cheeky punk.”

He watched as the younger snuggled closer, doe-like eyes slowly sliding shut. Sunwoo probably was exhausted from all the practice they had done and mentally too, from beating himself up over this matter. Changmin sighed softly, a free hand coming up to brush the dark red locks away from his face. 

They had always found comfort in private moments like these, especially when their public lives got so crazy. 

“Sunwoo-ah...sleep well.” Changmin murmured, his arms tightening around the warm body in his arms. He felt his smile slide away from his face as he stared blankly at the ceiling above them.

Sometimes, it was just so hard to keep smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't as good as i hoped, but I want to finish this before my national exams start (」°ロ°)」


	5. Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changmin breaks a little and Sunwoo is there to catch him. At the end, they find consolence in each other.

Everything was going horribly wrong.

They were about 4 days to the finals and currently undergoing one of the most intense practice cum rehearsal schedules of their entire Road To Kingdom journey, or perhaps in their entire career thus far. And Changmin had never felt this _awful_ before.

It started from the moment he opened his eyes at the dorm, his poor eyes immediately blinded by the sunlight barely getting filtered through the curtains in their room. Changmin’s head felt like it was going to split into two halves, the pounding only getting louder whenever he moved too quickly. He could hear his heart thudding in his chest two, both like twin drums hell-bent on beating his body and mind up into mush. This was not a good sign, given they had an entire afternoon of filming, followed by their usual midnight-to-early-morning practice for their Checkmate stage.

He managed to haul himself off the bed and to the bathroom to freshen up, not before rolling his eyes yet again at the sight of another one of Sunwoo’s used masks hanging off their doorknob. Shuffling towards the living room, Changmin tried his best to fight off the bone-deep exhaustion that seemed to be dragging his entire body down. Kevin was already up, sipping what looked like a cup of instant coffee with his usual bowl of cereal in front of him. 

“Morning!” Kevin called, receiving a half-hearted grunt from his disheveled same-aged friend in reply. It wasn’t out of the norm, so Kevin didn’t pay it much mind as Changmin continued his journey through the kitchen. 

The fridge swung open easily at a touch, the variety of scents from all the food their parents had sent them immediately filling Changmin’s senses. He blanched. It wasn’t like the food wasn’t good - in fact, he had been eagerly anticipating being able to taste some of Haknyeon’s mom’s cooking since she had sent over some - he simply was not in a good enough physical state to stomach anything at the moment without throwing up. With a sigh, Changmin let the fridge door swing close and headed back to their rooms to start waking his members up. They were due for a content filming soon and they ought not to be late, as tired as everyone was. 

Throughout the filming, Changmin tried his best to be his usual self, plastering on a smile and flashing a few cute poses whenever he deemed fit. But it was hard to put up a good false front, with how much his head was throbbing in his skull. A migraine, coupled with anxiety and tiredness, was not a preferred state for him to be in, particularly in filming something so playful. Three minutes into their recording and Changmin could feel the urge to yell at everyone to shut the fuck up bubbling up from within him due to the amount of noise they were making. But they were on camera and it wasn’t the members’ fault. They didn’t deserve to be the target of Changmin’s venting or stress-relief. They had enough stress on their own and he could handle this himself. 

When they dispersed for the individual practice sessions before their group practice for their Checkmate stage, Changmin spent it as he usually did - practicing the entire stage on his own while vocalizing his parts. He needed to pay extra attention to their second chorus, since he was essentially going to be the center then. 

They were given about 2 hours for their individual practice, a short break for dinner before their group practice started. The throbbing in his head was getting worse with every passing minute, the intensity of their Checkmate choreography not helping one bit. No matter how much he tried to focus, his moves were simply not hitting the ideal sharpness or strength that he usually had, much less the standard he expected himself to reach by the end of his practice session. 

_Mind over matter, Changmin ah._ He scolded himself as he stumbled over his feet yet again, much to his own frustration. The muscles in his arms and legs were practically screaming at him in complaint, but he couldn’t stop - not when there were still so many imperfections in his movements. 

_One more time._

The beginning of Checkmate started playing again and Changmin dragged himself back onto his feet, preparing for Sunwoo’s verse to start. The pounding in his skull seemed to blend with the bass in the background, making his head spin even as he tried to force his unwilling limbs to cooperate. 

His and Haknyeon’s parts ended and as he prepared to make the leap into the first chorus, the practice room suddenly started spinning around him. Biting back a curse, Changmin tried to shake himself out of it. But it evidently was not effective, when his world suddenly turned on its axis. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

He couldn’t recall feeling his body hit the floor of the practice room, but when he awoke, his cheek was pressed against the cold wood, his shoulder aching slightly. 

“Hyung!” Changmin winced at the sudden loud sound, flooding his senses and making his ears ring. When his vision finally cleared enough, he realized Sunwoo and Sangyeon hyung were both peering worriedly from above him. 

They both helped him sit up, Changmin unable to bite back the groan of pain from his head and the smarting in his shoulder at the sudden movement. 

“What happened?” He asked groggily, bringing a hand to massage his temple. Had he passed out? Wasn’t he just at the first chorus? 

“You passed out while practicing, hyung.” Sunwoo replied, his face awfully pale. “We were just returning from dinner when we saw you collapse.”

“It was so scary, hyung…” The younger trailed off, his voice trembling slightly. Changmin would have felt bad for scaring the younger, but he was suddenly overcome by the realization that he had run out of time. 

“Dinner is over already?” Changmin cried, scrambling to his feet despite the protests of his 2 members. He must’ve lost track of time while practicing. He didn’t really care much about dinner - he wasn’t hungry anyway - but that meant that group practice with Baek Seonsaeng was starting now and Changmin had barely even gotten any part of his performance right despite the hours of practice thus far. 

“No no no no, it can’t be!” He babbled, struggling out of Sunwoo’s grasp to turn the music back on. “I haven’t even perfected my parts yet, I need more time-“

There were hot tears of frustration brimming in his eyes, his heart hammering away in his chest. Why was he taking so long to get his parts down? All of the other members were doing fine with their practice and he needed to pull his own weight as well to help out with the overall performance. Why was he such a failure? It was such a simple thing, yet he couldn’t even get it done? The members were going to be so disappointed. 

He must’ve said some of his desperate slew of mangled thoughts out loud because when he turned around, both Sunwoo and Sangyeon hyung were staring at him with wide eyes. 

_Oh…they must be so disappointed…_

“I’m so sorry guys,” Changmin couldn’t hold his emotions back any longer, the tears flooding past his eyes onto his cheeks like a burst dam. The months of constantly keeping his exhaustion and the burden of having to excel as the main dancer finally bubbled to the surface, having simmered under his skin for far too long. He couldn’t bear the thought of his members looking at him and just thinking about how much a failure or a disappointment he had been. His breath came in uncontrolled, ragged gasps, his chest tight from the overwhelming guilt and frustration that filled him. “I’m so sorry,”

“I’m sorry for being such a disappointment,” Changmin sobbed, his legs finally giving way underneath him. Tears blurred his vision, but he could still make out Sangyeon hyung bending towards him, hands outstretched. Changmin flinched, curling into a ball as the beginnings of a panic attack seemed to overcome him. He could distantly hear himself mumbling “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, although nothing did seem to register in his head any longer. 

Sunwoo thought that seeing his boyfriend collapse on the spot was scary, but this was a next level of terrifying. Despite their years together, Changmin hyung had always been one to keep his problems to himself, only ever seeking him out until he desperately needed it or someone pried it out of his shell forcefully. He had never seen Changmin hyung cry like this - heart-wrenching sobs that fell uncontrollably from past his lips and ripped Sunwoo’s bleeding heart to shreds - much less suffer a complete mental breakdown. Sunwoo was so stunned, he felt his own tears leak out of his eyes at the sight of his lover in such a state. How could he have not seen the signs before this? That Changmin hyung seemed to be acting rather off recently, but never came to anyone for help? Why did he not do anything to intervene despite knowing that his stubborn lover never wanted to show any weakness, especially not to him? 

Changmin hyung had been suffering under the burden of his own expectations and the need to excel, working himself to the bone just so he could do well for the team. And Sunwoo himself had never realized how heavy a burden he carried, especially for a performance-based competition like Road To Kingdom. Changmin hyung had been there whenever he was anxious about performing stunts on stage and comforted him readily, but he had barely done anything for him in return. 

“Changmin ah,” He heard Sangyeon hyung call as he fell to his knees beside them, hands reaching hesitantly to touch the elder, who was shaking like a leaf. “I need you to breathe, okay? Slow deep breaths…”

“Baby, look at me.” Sunwoo murmured, using one hand to gently grasp Changmin hyung’s chin, forcing the elder to face him. The watery eyes and fear stained-cheeks brought a painful pang to his heart, his own eyes moistening at the sight of Changmin hyung being so completely _vulnerable_ and _in pain_. The other reached down to place his lover’s hand on his chest. “Can you feel my breathing? Try to follow it, slowly…”

Sunwoo didn’t know where this instinct came from, but it seemed to be working, Changmin hyung’s harried gasps gradually slowing to match his. The three of them stayed in silence for a few minutes or so, until their Main Dancer’s ragged breathing eased into something less painful-sounding. The elder’s hand was still clenched tightly in his, both pressed against his chest. “Hyung, are you feeling a little better?”

Changmin nodded, although his cheeks were still traced by a seemingly endless stream of tears that Sunwoo hastily dabbed away with a sad pout. 

“Glad you’re feeling better, Changmin ah. Uh, I’ll get the kids to wait outside for a while,” Sangyeon hyung mumbled as he shot to his feet, making a quick getaway from the couple. “We’ll have to talk about this later.”

Sunwoo watched carefully as his lover bit his lip anxiously, no doubt still thinking about his own breakdown. 

“Hyung, how are you feeling?” He asked, pulling Changmin hyung closer towards him. The elder complied without a complaint, sniffing slightly as he was wrapped into Sunwoo’s embrace, his head pillowed against his lover’s chest. At this moment, Changmin hyung seemed so _small_ and almost _frail_ in comparison, his eyes downcast and his sunshine-bright smile nowhere to be found. 

“Head hurts,” Changmin mumbled, his eyes slipping shut after exhausting himself from all that crying. The pounding in his head hadn’t eased, but it felt slightly better with Sunwoo’s warmth around him, even though he was still all sweaty from his practice session. If he were not in such a sorry physical and mental state, he would be embarrassed at the current position they were in, himself practically sitting in Sunwoo’s lap with the younger wrapped around him almost like a giant blanket. But he was too tired, too overwhelmed to care. “Everything hurts.”

“I’m so tired, Sunwoo ah.” Changmin finally continued after a moment’s silence, fresh tears leaking anew from his eyes, dampening the younger’s shirt. “I've been trying so hard to perfect my own dance, staying back to practice more so that I can help out more during our team sessions with Ssaem…” 

“But I can never get it right and meet my own expectations…” Changmin trailed off again, so painfully aware about the deep, dark fears and insecurities that he was finally revealing to his boyfriend. Thoughts that had plagued him since pre-debut, but he never had the courage to confide in someone else due to the weight on his shoulders to lead and _perform_. “I’m so scared that I won’t be able to do better or even as well as I usually do...”

“I’m such a disappointment,” Changmin whispered brokenly. He could feel Sunwoo’s arms tightening around him, the redhead’s entire body tensing as he said those words. Changmin braced, himself for another nagging session...except it never came. 

A sleeve reached up and patted at his cheeks, drying the fresh tears gently. Surprised, Changmin looked up, only to be met with Sunwoo’s equally bright eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

“Hyung…” he began, his lower lip trembling slightly. “You know you can talk to me, or the other hyungs about this right?”

A nod in response. 

“Then why didn’t you?” Sunwoo breathed, a furrow growing between his eyebrows. 

“You were already so worried about having to pull off the fall at the start…” Changmin began, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid looking at Sunwoo’s expression. He knew the younger would be so disappointed by him. “I didn’t want to burden you with my own stupid problems.” 

“Hyung…you would never be a burden to me.” It was Sunwoo’s turn to bury his face into Changmin’s neck, his arms snaking around his waist to pull him impossibly closer. “I wish you wouldn’t keep things to yourself like this just because you are worried about me.”

“We are all in this together, hyung.” Sunwoo pouted, raising his head to look Changmin in the eye. “I’m sure none of us would mind hearing you out and even if we can’t help you, we definitely can support you.”

Changmin took in a shuddering breath and nodded. Sunwoo was right. He had stubbornly pushed himself too far this time round without giving himself a mental or physical break. At their current stage, Changmin overworking himself and crumbling would do no help to himself or their team. 

“Okay,” he murmured quietly, staring at the floor. His fingers absently fiddled with Sunwoo’s hoodie string - anything to distract himself from the feeling of being the epicenter of Sunwoo’s attention. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” A gentle hand cupped his chin once more and turned his head slightly to face Sunwoo, his eyes meeting the younger’s dark orbs. There was a mix of emotions swimming in them - sadness, guilt and a whole lot of tenderness. 

There was a moment of comfortable silence between them as they stared into each other’s eyes, an unspoken agreement between them. Changmin watched as Sunwoo’s plump lips stretched into a slight smile, before the younger leaned forward and closed the gap between them. He let his eyes flutter shut as their lips met, mixed slightly with the salty taste of both their tears. Sunwoo’s kisses were warm, his lips so incredibly soft against his own. It was a feeling that was so familiar, yet simultaneously one that he so desperately missed. A gentle hand rose to cup his cheek as he laced his fingers between Sunwoo’s neck, pressing their bodies closer together. Changmin felt the tension and worries ooze out of him, leaving his body weightless and enveloped in the warmth of his boyfriend. 

Changmin wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, peppering each other with soft kisses until his breathing finally returned to normal and his tears dried on his cheeks. But it must've been quite some time, for the next time the door to the practice room swung open, abruptly bursting their little bubble of comfort, Baek Seonsaeng and all their members were all waiting outside, some peeking in with their hands covering their eyes. 

“Are you guys decent?” Sangyeon hyung called as he poked his head into the practice room, face scrunched up slightly as both Changmin and Sunwoo spluttered in embarrassment, faces burning a bright red. 

“What the hell, hyung!” Changmin groaned once he had gathered scattered wits together, ears still burning hot. The members gradually mulled into the room, standing around the couple on the floor. “As if we’d do anything in the _practice room_!” 

“That doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea, hyung.” came the low whisper into his left ear, sending an involuntary shudder down his spine. He whirled around, still managing to send the perpetrator a furious glare despite his head spinning slightly. It barely seemed as though they both had been bawling their eyes out over Changmin’s mental breakdown just seconds ago. 

“Shut up, you horndog. Don’t get any weird ideas.”

Someone cleared their throat awkwardly and Changmin very nearly leapt out of his skin when Baek Seonsaeng was staring at both of them pointedly. With an embarrassed flush, he leapt out of Sunwoo’s lap, scrambling to his feet. It seemed like it was a mistake, for the sudden movement brought his headache back in full force, leaving Changmin swaying on his feet. Sunwoo was beside him in a flash, steadying him by the elbow. 

“Changmin ah, we’ll talk more about this when we get back to the dorms later,” Sangyeon hyung began, his hands tucked deep into his pockets. Changmin started at the floor guiltily - he had likely caused a great amount of worry to his team, especially from the way all his members were all looking at him with conflicting emotions in their eyes. “But we hope you know you never have to struggle like this on your own...don’t scare me like that ever again, please. My heart can’t take it.”

“Take a rest today,” Baek Seonsaeng stated firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. Changmin nodded. It would probably do all of them good if he didn’t pass out again. All the more reason to get some rest now before it got any worse even closer to the finals. “Then come back with renewed vigor tomorrow.”

Changmin headed for the couch outside their practice room, oddly feeling like a soldier leaving for the military with how his members were sending him off. He waved away the worried look Sunwoo sent him one final time, before closing the door behind him and leaving his members to work hard. The sofa was oddly soft, a stark contrast against the dull throb in his temples and the ache in his limbs. They had told him to head back to their dorms, but he wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea of going back on his own while the rest of them were all hard at work here. He would wait for them here, Changmin reasoned. 

He still had many worries and fears, particularly about their performance but for once, Changmin was reassured that his members would be there for him and catch him if he fell. With a slight smile tugging at his lips, he slipped into a dreamless sleep. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

When their practice session _finally_ ended, Sunwoo felt like a lump of jelly, his limbs far too sore from their constant exertion. Stifling a yawn, he couldn’t wait to get back to the dorm and take a cool shower and maybe snuggle with Changmin hyung-

Sunwoo took one step outside of the studio and stopped. And stared.

Changmin hyung was curled up into a ball on a couch, his face slackened and completely out like a light. It seemed as though he was having one hell of a nap, if it weren’t for the occasional small whimper of pain that made itself known whenever he jostled himself, or the light shone directly into his face. Some kind staff member had placed a blanket over him in his slumber. Sunwoo pouted at the sight, his lover looking awfully small and despite his obvious discomfort, very cute. Changmin hyung would definitely wake up with a crick in his neck, judging from the way he was sleeping at the moment. Had he fallen asleep while waiting for them? He must’ve been exhausted from his breakdown earlier, given he barely even twitched when the cacophony rose from behind him as the members too started spilling out of the practice room and into the hallway.

“Hey Sunwoo, what are you doing standing there- oh.” Juyeon began, too stopping short beside the younger. He seemed to need a moment to take in the sight as well, Sunwoo observed. 

Finally, Juyeon let out a heavy sigh. “He always works so hard, putting all of us before his own health.” The elder’s lips were downturned as he observed his same-age friend and dance partner, a worried frown creasing his forehead. Sunwoo nodded mutely in agreement. This stupid hyung was so sacrificial, so loving and so dedicated to their team...he blinked rapidly, feeling his eyes moistening yet again. 

“Take care of him, Sunwoo ah.” Juyeon murmured, slinging an arm lightly around his shoulder. “It won’t be easy for any of us, but us hyungs will do more to support Changmin as well. After all, he’s struggled the most and the longest out of all of us.”

“As long as he’s happy…”

Later, Sangyeon hyung helped get Changmin hyung onto Sunwoo’s back as they got ready to head back to the dorm. His boyfriend really was sleeping like a log, completely dead to the world around him save the telltale tightening of his grip around Sunwoo’s shoulders. The younger bit back a smile, trying his best not to jostle the squirrel on his back who was finally getting the much-needed rest he deserved as they made their way back to their dorm. 

Changmin finally stirred when they reached their dorm, peering blearily at his surroundings as Kevin helped him and Sunwoo take off their shoes. Much to Sunwoo’s embarrassment and the older members’ delight, Changmin hyung nosed at his neck sleepily like a giant puppy, murmuring “you smell” with a slight crinkle of his nose before passing out once more. Adamantly ignoring how much his cheeks had heated up, Sunwoo wobbled to the living room, half-dumping his boyfriend unceremoniously onto their couch. 

“Hyung, wake up. We gotta shower before you continue your journey into dreamland.” Thankfully, Changmin complied readily, only letting out a few pained whines when his head started acting up again. It was moments like these that Sunwoo felt like he was the older one, taking care of his lover and caring for him in his vulnerable moments. Of course, Changmin hyung repaid in kind and they both acted as a safety net for each other when the other fell or broke. 

The butterflies that once fluttered in his stomach whenever Changmin hyung stared at him in a certain manner, or the rapid quickening of his heartbeat in response to a cute or affectionate motion was long gone. Instead, Sunwoo realised as he gently toweled the elder’s hair dry as they sat in his bed, said hyung already drifting off while sitting up, they simply sought comfort and _home_ in each other. And sometimes, that was more than enough.

They lay in Sunwoo’s bed, limbs tangled together and wrapped around each other under the warm blanket, their faces close enough to feel the other’s slow breathing. Sunwoo watched as Changmin hyung, already deep in the throes of sleep, mumbled something incoherent under his breath, fingers tightening their grip around Sunwoo’s.

 _Cute,_ Sunwoo mused. He ought to try to figure out what exactly his boyfriend was saying one of these days. 

(And so he did, much to the amusement of Chanhee hyung, who caught him staring up at Changmin hyung with “puppy-dog eyes looking absolutely whipped”, in his exact words, and attempting to respond, the elder’s smaller hand gripped tightly in his. So damn embarrassing…)

“Goodnight, hyung.” Sunwoo finally murmured, pressing his lips to the bridge of Changmin hyung’s nose tenderly. “Let’s work hard again tomorrow when you’re feeling better.”

This too, shall pass. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

18th June, 2020.

Road To Kingdom finals.

If Changmin were to be honest, it felt like the entire day passed in a blur. He had been so anxious the day before, repeatedly going over all the tiny imperfections in their moves that kept him up long after the dorm had gone dark and quiet, save the gentle snores and occasional mumbling from his members. But when Sangyeon hyung came to wake them all up in the morning, Changmin got ready in a daze, as if not really comprehending that this was their finals - the day all their hard work over the past 4 months finally amounted to. 

Stage rehearsals and the press conference passed in a blur. Even their final stage started and finished in the blink of an eye. One moment they were told to get ready for the start of the live broadcast and the next, he was breathing heavily after their Checkmate stage had finally ended, adrenaline pumping through his veins. It seemed as though all of Changmin’s seemingly endless worries had simply faded into the back of his mind and he just lived in the moment. Someone had wrapped cotton wool around his senses and numbed them all, his mind surprisingly clear.

It was almost peaceful, to be able to enjoy the stage and do well just as he practiced. The thrill of hearing cheers from the other competing groups behind them, almost as though they were performing for their fans again. Even Hyunjae hyung’s vocal performance with the other groups was a joy, filled with all their groups’ shared experiences in the competition together. Whatever state Changmin had entered, it was very effective in calming his nerves.

Until it was finally time to announce the results, that is. 

One moment, they were watching the clips talking about each of their groups’ performances and the next, all of them were suddenly up on their feet listening to the Jang Sungkyu sunbaenim talk about the voting criteria. 

Then, they announced that only one team was proceeding on to Kingdom. 

In that moment, Changmin felt all his earlier false(?) confidence and nonchalance come crashing down all around him. The hours he spent wide awake at night, overthinking about the results, what it meant for their team if they won or didn’t. Of course, they always said that it was through the experience that they benefited the most and it _didn’t really matter_ whether they won or not. But after all the injuries, the pain, the mental and physical burden they all had to carry - if they didn’t win, Changmin really didn’t know what he was going to do.

Changmin sucked in a shuddering breath, his knees suddenly feeling very much like overcooked noodles. It was between them and ONF sunbaenim who had gotten the highest overall score to proceed to Kingdom. They were one, last step away from that trophy and the next stage. 

As they headed to the front of the stage, Changmin felt like he was going to throw up if they didn’t announce the results anytime soon. His stomach was churning, despite not having eaten much today and burning most of it off during their intense stage. Perhaps it was just the overwhelming feeling of pure, acute fear of ‘What if we don’t win?’. He simply couldn’t- didn’t want to imagine the circumstances in which their hopes and dreams were dashed. Getting first place was not a wish anymore, it seemed. It was a _need_ , to validate that all the sleepless nights, physical injuries and stress placed on them had all been a worthy sacrifice. 

When the emcees turned to each of the two final teams and asked for their thoughts, Changmin hadn’t expected to have to speak. Or perhaps he did expect it, but simply fervently hoped to not have to. Sangyeon hyung was a much more eloquent speaker than he was and in his current mental state, Changmin wasn't even sure if he could gather his fumbled thoughts together to form a coherent sentence worthy of a live broadcast. But the microphone was passed to him and a gentle poke in his side from one of his members told him he had been the ‘chosen one’. So he sucked in a breath and took the plunge.

Changmin could see how his fingers trembled even as they wrapped around the microphone in a death grip and heard acutely the way his voice shook as it was blasted across the stage, out to the hundreds and thousands of fans watching at home via live broadcast. But he plastered on a wide smile for the cameras filming his close-ups, for the world to see and believe in. And Changmin knew every word he spoke rang true in all of their hearts, but when he finally put the microphone down, he remembered not a single word of it. But he supposed he made a passable effort, given the thumbs up the others were giving him.

Now...he sincerely hoped the show would spare his soul and stop dragging out the results any further or he might combust on the spot. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

They did it.

They won.

Sunwoo scrubbed at his face as they finally headed back to their waiting room, his shirt sleeves dampened not just by his sweat, but from wiping at the tear tracks on his cheeks. Honestly, he had started bawling long before they started the long wait dragging out the results release, simply overwhelmed by the endless probabilities ‘what if’s should they not come out at the top. When he finally got a taste of sweet success, his world sharpened back into focus, only slightly blurred by the redness of his eyes as they celebrated on stage with his members and friends from the other groups. Heck, in the hectic celebration he hadn’t even managed to catch a glimpse of his lover and perhaps relish in their success together, but he supposed they had all the time in the world to do that once they were back in their dorm. 

In face, once they were met with resounding cheers and applause from their staff members, all of whom wore equally proud expressions on their faces, they were immediately swept off to film a few clips to thank their dearest Deobis for their hard work and for essentially enabling this to happen. They quickly took to Twitter too, discreetly wiping away tears as they typed their messages to their fans - or at least, Sunwoo did, since he could barely see anything aside from his phone’s screen with his vision blurred with tears - and yelling at each other about the sequence of tweets. 

It was only after they got to the dorm, showered and concluded their daily 5-minute talk that Sunwoo finally got to take a good, hard look at Changmin after all of the day’s events. Knowing they probably needed their own space, Kevin very graciously left the couple to their own devices in their shared room to find Jacob hyung. Sunwoo made a mental note to buy his hyung something extra nice for his birthday, for putting up with his lovesick self all the time.

“Hyung,” Sunwoo hummed, a wide smile tugging at the corners of his lips once they had finally settled down opposite each other on his bed. Changmin’s eyes were still bright with unshed tears, but he returned with a grin in full force. There was a moment of silence, an unspoken tension hanging in the air between them. Then, Sunwoo couldn’t stand it any longer and lunged at the elder, bowling him over onto his back with Sunwoo on top of him. 

“We did it!” he cried, his arms tightening around his boyfriend. Changmin responded in kind, laughter bubbling up from within him even as tears uncontrollably leaked from the corners of his eyes. 

“Hyung, what? Why are you crying and laughing at the same time?”

“Shut up!” Changmin groaned, burying his face in the crook of the younger’s neck even as his shoulders shook with laughter and his tears immediately soaked through the shirt’s fabric. “You’re no better.”

That was true, for Sunwoo too had burst into tears at the sight before him. If anything, he was so proud of his Changmin hyung for doing so well and pushing through. It hurt to see him so vulnerable, especially when he had his breakdown earlier, but it was also equally gratifying as it was heart-wrenching. 

“Looks like we are both in a sorry, sorry state then.” he giggled, wrapping his legs (and practically his entire body) around his slightly smaller lover, clinging on to him like a giant koala.

It took a while before their tears finally slowed to a few stray drops, rather than endless streams flowing from their eyes. But they remained curled around each other, relishing in the warmth of each other’s company without the constant nagging worry about having to practice, preparing for one stage after the next. They had a day off tomorrow and for now, it was just Sunwoo and Changmin in their own little world. 

“Sunwoo ah,” Changmin murmured, his lips pressed against Sunwoo’s collarbone. He could feel them move against his skin - it was odd, slightly ticklish, but not at all bad. “Thank you.”

“I love you.”

Sunwoo could feel a grin threaten to split his face in half, his muscles already groaning in complaint. 

“I love you too, hyung. More than anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been debating when to post this, but I figured it had been sitting in my drafts for far too long, I might as well. 
> 
> I was really inspired to write this at the start but once RTK ended, I struggled to clobber together a good enough plot to keep this fic running and figured I'd leave it be before it got any worse. 
> 
> The most heartfelt thanks for my lovely commenter aguamenting. We aren't close oomfs, but thank you for being my source of motivation for this fic in the last 2 months or so. If it weren't for you, I doubt I would have had it in me to finish this. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡
> 
> To those who left comments, kudos, or even bothered to check out this late-night ramble of me essentially projecting onto Changmin, thank you as well. (♡°▽°♡)


	6. Extra: Birthday

Sunwoo realised that he could never get used to how quick Changmin could switch - his ‘duality’, in their fans’ terms, was simply unreal.

One moment, they were simply lying there cuddling, with dried tear-tracks staining their cheeks and their eyes still red-rimmed. Suddenly, Changmin had flipped him over and straddled him around the waist, a cocky grin replacing whatever soft smile he had worn just mere milliseconds ago. Sunwoo just lay there, completely stunned as always, and let his lover take over.

“So,” the elder all but purred, running a finger teasingly along Sunwoo’s jawline, a glint of  _ something _ in his eyes. “We get a break tomorrow.”

Sunwoo swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. If angry Changmin hyung was scary, this was... _ dangerous _ . For his heart, especially. There was something especially alluring about how the elder could codeswitch so easily and so naturally, sometimes without even intending to. “Yeah, we’re going to the beach with Chanhee hyung and Jacob hyung, aren’t we?”

“But that’s for later.” Changmin smirked, his fingers trailing past Sunwoo’s jaw down to his chest. “Right now, it’s just you and me.”

“We ought to celebrate your birthday properly, shouldn’t we?”

_ Oh, fuck... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_


End file.
